Losing Your Sense of Love
by Animefreak1994
Summary: SEQUEL to Making Your Way Into My Life: Izaya is critically ill with a disease that makes you slowly lose your five senses. Not wanting this to interfere with his life with Shizuo, he keeps it a secret for as long as possible. But not all secrets are meant to be kept quiet.
1. Diagnosis

Chapter 1 - Diagnosis

**BYR:**

**IT'S FINALLY HERE! THE SEQUEL! God college has been killing my time... Sorry for the late updates in advance... Hope you enjoy!~ I'm sooo excited! XD**

_(Dammit...what's happening to me...?)_

Izaya was staring into his bathroom mirror, dark circles under his eyes from the nightmares he'd been having for the past week. Blood was stained on the sides of the sink as he bent down again, coughing up more spatters of the red fluid. A red line of blood ran down the side of his chin as he quickly wiped it away with his hand. It was getting worse, these sudden urges to throw up. He couldn't even eat normally without having a burning sensation in his throat. And it was always blood that came out, nothing else. The sight of it made him sick. A knock was heard on the door followed by a worried tone from his favorite blonde.

"Oi flea! You ok in there?"

"Y-yeah! I'm just brushing my teeth!"

"Well open up so I can tell you goodbye properly! I gotta head to work!"

"Ok ok! Be patient!"

Quickly erasing all the evidence of blood, Izaya watched as every last drop had drained down the sink before he speed brushed his teeth and open the door. The blonde was standing there, tapping his toes and glaring into those ruby colored eyes.

"What took you so long?"

"Now now Shizu-chan~ I have to look my best before i can present myself to you!~"

"Tch, I don't care how you look. You're fine the way you are ok? So quick fussing around and come here."

Opening his arms to invite the informant into them, Izaya smiled as he skipped into those strong arms and received a warm hug.

"Gotta go. I'll see you later ok?"

"Mhm! Be safe~"

Giving him a quick kiss on the lips, Shizuo waved goodbye before he was out the door and gone. As soon as the door closed and the Izaya heard the elevator descend, he rushed to his office, grabbed his cell phone, and speed dialed Shinra.

***Bzzz...bzzz...click!***

"Hello?"

"Shinra! It's me!"

"Ohh Izaya! What a lovely surprise! I haven't heard from you in a while! Not since you and Shizuo stopped fighting! So this is kinda unexpected. What's wrong?"

"I think I'm sick."

"Sick? Do you have a fever? Cold sweat? Maybe it's the flu?"

"No it's not the flu or a cold! It's serious!"

"Hmm I see. Well come on over and I'll check you out."

"Thank you."

Snapping his portable phone closed, the informant rushed to his bedroom and changed into his street clothes. It'd been a while since he'd been to Ikebukuro. Ever since he discovered that Shizuo was in love with him, he found that he was actually flattered by the fact. Deciding that it would do them both good if the fighting stopped, the brunet gave this unrealistic love a chance. And so far, nearly a year later, they were still miraculously together.

Making his way down the busy sidewalk filled with pedestrians, Izaya wondered what could be wrong with his body. Never in his life had he ever experienced something so scary and abnormal. It frightened him a bit as he walked with his head down, eyes concentrating on the road in front of him. As he made it to the underground doctor's apartment, Izaya could feel his bones shake from fear as he knocked on the door and waited for the male to appear.

"Izaya! Welcome! Come in come in!"

The usual smiling male greeted the informant inside as he led him to the examination room.

"Hmm, you look healthy. Let's see what wrong with you. Take off your shirt please and sit on the table while I get your medical records."

Izaya stripped out of his shirt, laid it on the chair near the door, and started walking towards the examination table when he felt a sharp burning feeling on the side of his chest. Crying out in pain, the brunet fell hard onto the cold ground as he curled his body up into a ball, trying to suppress the agonizing pain. Shinra had heard the cry and rushed back into the room, kneeling down next to the male.

"Izaya! Izaya what's wrong?!"

"I.. I don't know! It hurts! My sides...nhhh!..They burn... Ahhh!"

"Hold on! Let me go get you something-"

"No! It's... It's ok... It's going away now..."

"You sure?!"

"Yeah...it's gone... I'm fine now..."

"Fine?! You're definitely NOT fine! What happened just now?!"

"I'm not sure. I just felt a sharp pain on my side and fell over..."

"Hmm, this is abnormal indeed... Let me examine you. We'll run some tests as well to see what's up."

After taking a physical checkup, the underground doctor drew some blood for tests and also did a number of brain scans on the informant. After about three hours of tests and waiting, the results finally came back.

"Ohh no..."

"Wnat? What is it? Tell me Shinra!"

"I... I'm afraid you have..."

"What?! What do I have?!"

"You have Multiple Sclerosis Izaya..."

"Multiple what?!"

"Multiple Sclerosis. It a chronic, progressive disease which cause damage to your nerve cells in your brain and spinal cord. From the looks of it, your nervous system has been hit pretty badly, and I'm afraid that it's gotten to your sensory system as well. Which means that you may start to lose your five senses..."

"Lose my...sense..?"

"Yes; hearing, tasting, smelling, seeing, and touching. You might also lose the ability to walk as well... I'm sorry Izaya..."

"How long...?"

"I say you have about 6 months until it fully sinks in. By that time, you'd have lost-"

"All my senses... This...this can't be happening...!"

"I know it's tough news to hear, but I'll do everything in my power to help you through this."

"I'm going to die... I'm going to die..."

"No you won't! I'll make sure of that! Here, I'll write you a prescription for a treatment to help slow the spreading. It's called Copaxone. You have to inject this into your blood stream daily ok? This should protect important proteins in your body to help support your immune system."

"Should?"

"Not all medicine can help. But hopefully it'll do its job."

"Am I going to die Shinra...? Tell me the truth."

"Most likely no. Multiple Sclerosis is deadly, but it'll only reduce your lifespan by a couple of years. You'll be fine Izaya. As long as you see me at least once a month, we can manage."

"Thank you..."

"No problem. I'm happy to help. Now, you should go home and get some sleep. Come back tomorrow for your prescription when I have it ready. Don't worry too much about it."

"Yeah ok... See ya."

Saddened and utterly shocked by the news, Izaya thanked his friend once again before he departed for home. Left alone in his apartment, Shinra frowned as the facts from the CT and PET scans sank in. Izaya was, in truth, going to die.

"... I'm sorry I lied to you Izaya... But I don't think you'll be able to live through this fight... Still, I won't give up... I'll do whatever it takes to find a cure. I promise..."

* * *

On his way home from Shinra's, Izaya decided to stop by a secret spot he always went to when he needed to clear his mind. Climbing the last stretch of rock ledges, he exhaled a breath of exhaustion as he gazed out onto the endless mass of water. The sun was blazing colors in the sky as he sat back against the only tree that was on top of the cliff, taking in the cool breeze of the ocean. This was the spot where Shizuo had confessed his love for him almost a year ago. At first, the brunet thought it was some sort of prank, but when the blonde kissed him, he knew that their entire relationship had changed. Now living at the informant's condo, he felt that his life was now more peaceful and complete with the ex-bartender by his side. That is, until now; now that he had this disease how would he live a normal life?

"I can't tell Shizu-chan... He'll only freak out and fuss over me. I can't distract him from work... It's best this way. Who knows, maybe it was just an error in the readings!"

Trying his best to be optimistic, Izaya felt his pocket vibrate as he reached for his cell phone. Pulling it out, he saw that he got a text message from Shizuo and opened it.

**-Hey flea, did you eat yet? I'm on my lunch break and wanted to check up on you. Don't sit around all day with your eyes glued to that computer of yours! I'll be home around 9 or 10 tonight. See you then.-**

Smiling at the cute message he'd received, he exited out of the text and stared at his screen. His screensaver was a picture of him and Shizuo, one he had taken when the blonde was sleeping soundly in his bed. Smiling at the cute picture, the informant couldn't help but tear up a bit as he snapped his phone closed and hid his face in his knees.

"It's not fair... It's not fair! Why?! Why must my happiness always be short lived?! If there is a god, then hear me out! Please! Please don't make me leave... Don't make me leave Shizu-chan alone... Please..."

* * *

"Hey Shizuo, you can go home now."

"Thanks Tom. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Actually I have a meeting tomorrow all day, so we don't need to collect any debts. Which means you have the day off!"

"Ohh ok. Thanks."

"No problem. Have a good night. Say hi to Izaya for me."

"Will do."

Exiting the cooperate building, the blonde started towards home as he walked through the brightly lit city. Checking his cell, he saw that he'd received a reply from Izaya and smiled.

**-Hi Shizu-chan!~ In case you were still wondering, yes I have eaten! And I didn't stare at my computer today ok! I actually went out for a bit. Come home soon ok?! I miss my favorite blonde headed monster~ Love Izaya~ (^_－****)－ ****-**

Finishing the text, he chuckled at the message. Not so long ago he would've never heard such kind words from his enemy. Now they were living together like a couple and their lives consume of mostly each other. Rushing home, Shizuo stopped by Russia Sushi to pick up some fatty tuna for the brunet and hurried home.

* * *

** "*coughcoughcoughcough!"**

Izaya was bent over the toilet, vomiting and coughing violently into it as blood spilled out his mouth. Choking for a breath of air, he shook from the after shock and sat down on the cold tile floor.

"Ahhh...haaa...h-hurts... Gaahhh!"

Another sudden urge forced him to face the bloody water again and puke more red body fluids into it. The blood swirled in a stomach churning way as he closed the lid and flushed. Hot tears dropped from his worn out eyes as he cried into his hands. After he'd returned from Shinra's, the informant had promised himself that he would keep this all a secret from Shizuo. But that might be a challenge if he was going to keep this up. Wiping the trail of blood on his chin with his black shirt, he stripped out his clothes and slipped into his pajamas. Wearing one of Shizuo's large grey hoody and his black shorts, Izaya went to brush his teeth. Done, he looked at the digital clock on the wall and saw it was 8:38 pm._ (Hmm, Shizu-chan won't be home for another hour or two depending on how busy he is... Maybe Tom will let him go early tonight... I just hope he gets home soon.)_ Taking a step toward the door, he felt his knees buckle under him as he fell hard to the floor. His body seemed to have shut down, not even his fingers would move to his command. Mind and vision becoming blurred, the brunet fainted and was left on the cold floor to die.

* * *

Placing the key inside the lock, he twisted it and entered the room. All the lights in the house were off, confusing the blonde. _(It's only nine, so Izaya wouldn't be asleep already would he?)_

"Oi, flea! I'm home!"

Shutting the door behind him, Shizuo removed his shoes before he stepped further into the room. Walking into the office, he half expected the informant to be sitting in his chair, working, but no one was there. The living room was empty, and so was the kitchen. So the only place he could be was in the bed room. Opening the bedroom door, Shizuo quietly walked in, thinking Izaya was asleep, but he wasn't in bed either.

"Where the hell is he?"

That's when he saw the bathroom lights glowing underneath the closed door. Knocking on it, the blonde called out to the brunet.

"Hey Izaya! I'm home."

No answered. Again, he knocked harder.

"Izaya!"

Still nothing.

"Hey! Are you ok?!"

Panic started to seep into his veins as he kept calling out to Izaya, but no one called back. Deciding to kick the door down, the blonde warned the brunet to step back before he smashed right through it. And there he was, lying unconscious on the floor.

"Izaya!"

Rushing to the male's aid, Shizuo held the brunet in his arms, shaking him, ordering him to wake up.

"Hey! Izaya! What happened to you?! Hey!"

"Sh... Shizu-chan..?"

"Izaya..."

"Welcome home Shizu-chan."

"Idiot, this is not the time to be saying stuff like that! What happened to you?! Are you ok?!"

"I'm fine I'm fine. Don't worry."

"Don't worry?! I found you lying on the bathroom floor! How could I not worry?!"

"I was just tired that's all. I guess I was more tired than I thought that I just fell asleep here. Sorry to worry you."

"Are you sure you're ok...?"

"Yeah, really I'm ok."

"***sigh*** you nearly gave me a heart attack..."

"I'm sorry."

"Come on, let's get you to bed."

"Nn, but first let me brush my teeth ok? Why don't you go change?"

"Alright... You sure you can stand?"

"I'm fine, stop doting at me."

"Ok ok! I'll go change now."

Leaving the male's side, Shizuo left the bathroom and went to change. Closing the door after the blonde, Izaya sighed in relief. Another urge from the back of his throat caused him to rush over to the sink and puke again. His body shook violently as his breathing began picking up pace. Staring at the blood, he turned on the water and began brushing his teeth while washing away the body fluid. After he was sure there were no traces of red left, he exited the bathroom and climbed into bed. Shizuo wrapped his arms around the brunet's waist and pulled him closer to his body.

"Night flea."

"Good night Shizu-chan... I love you"

"Love you too..."

The blonde cuddled against his human pillow and not long he was fast asleep. But Izaya couldn't keep his eyes close; his mind raced with thoughts, like how he can keep this up without telling the blonde about his illness. Thankfully it wasn't transmittable, so he could stay by this monster, but the fact that he was slowly dying inside stung him. How long would it be before he was rendered useless without his senses? How would he go on living? How would he be able to love Shizuo if he couldn't see him, couldn't hear his angelic voice, couldn't smell his cigarette-like scent or even touch and feel him? He might as well be dead. And that's when he decided that he wouldn't let this defeat him.

"I'll use the time I have left and spend it with Shizu-chan. I'll treasure every moment. I won't lose to this; I refuse to. No matter what happens, I'll be the one to bare this burden alone."

Turing his body to face Shizuo, Izaya smiled as he gave a soft kiss on those lips and snuggled closer to his chest.

"You don't have to worry Shizu-chan... I've made you suffer enough already… I won't let you suffer anymore… "

**A/N:**

**REVIEW PLZ :) ITS MUCH APPRECIATED! XD I LOVE READING THEM!**

**Ok so most of the facts about Multiple Sclerosis are true except for the part where it destroys all your senses. I looked everywhere if there was one that took away all your 5 senses but there isn't. I even asked my mom who's a nurse and she said that it was impossible! So I went to the next best, or worse however you see it, thing! Just in case any of you were gonna yell at me for making up facts. Who knows?! Maybe one of you plans to be a doctor or nurse! I don't want to give the wrong info, but most of you don't care anyway so I'll stop ranting… See you soon! Ugh... college...**


	2. Stop and Smell the Roses

Chapter 2 - Stop and Smell The Roses

**BYR:**

**BAM! Chapter 2 is here! Read on! XD No further notes here!**

* * *

Fall had finally arrived in the bustling city of 'Bukuro. As the leaves turned from its luscious tint of green to the burn colors of Autumn, many were slowly growing into the mood of Thanksgiving and Christmas. Holiday sales were displaced on windows and as everyone was ready for another end of the year celebration, many would say that they are ready for a new year. Especially the Informant of Shinjuku, Izaya Orihara.

As he walked through the crowded streets of the concrete jungle, he couldn't help but feel nostalgic. Wasn't that long ago when he had to carefully avoid a certain someone to risk from being killed every time he crossed into Ikebukuro territory. It still wasn't really a safe place, but safer now that Shizuo wasn't flinging metal objects and hunting him down.

"Well now isn't this a weird feeling! I'd never thought the day would come were I wouldn't have to fear for my life when I walked these streets! Guess having Shizu-chan living with me is a good thing after all! Saves me the trouble of hiding~"

The informant usually went to the city only to cause trouble to others, but today he was there for a visit. It had been a month since he found out about his condition and nothing had happened so far, so he was confident that this was just a mix up in the lab data.

"Nothing's wrong! I have to believe that! And it doesn't hurt to be precautions! Better safe than sorry…"

As the brunet skipped up the stairs to Shinra's floor, he was greeted by the unlicensed doctor and dragged inside the apartment.

"Izaya~ Such a wonderful sight to see you!"

"Hey Shinra, what's up?"

"Ohh nothing~ Just here at home, doing some work, waiting for my beloved Celty to return and run into my arms!~"

"Yeah…."

"But enough about me! Let's see how my favorite patient is doing!"

Stripping out of his jacket, Izaya pulled the black sleeve shirt off before sitting down on the cold metal examination table. The sight of the table made his stomach feel unease, mental images of him being dissected crossing him mind. But he shook them away as he carefully watched the man in the lab coat type some things on his laptop.

"Ok, we need to check your heart rate, blood pressure and all that fun stuff! So put these on~ And I'll go get the needles!"

The excited male rushed out the room after he handed the brunet a pair of suction cups. Taping them on his fore body, Izaya sighed tiresomely as he hung his head.

"This is gonna be torture…."

* * *

Always avoid dark alleys when you're in a city. A smart person would know to do that, but there are some stupid people out there with no common sense whatsoever. Even so, if you were to walk into an alley and see Shizuo Heiwajima there, it's best to turn around and book it in the opposite direction. Cause chances are, shit was about to go down.

"Wait please! I'll- I'll have the money by tomorrow! I swear!"

"Look pal, I know how this goes; by tomorrow you'll be long gone and I won't have the money. Which means that I'm the one who's gonna hear it from the boss when I don't collect the debt you owe. So just hand it over, and we can all have a nice day."

"I don't have it man! I swear I don't!"

"***sigh*… **I play too nice… Shizuo, you're up."

Tom took a step back from the uncooperative male as shook his head in dismay. The blonde took a slow drag of his cigarette before he flicked it to the ground and smothered it under his shoe. Readjusting his blue shades, he growled at the male as he stuffed his hands inside his pockets and casually walked up to him.

"Ha! You think you can use the Monster of Ikebukuro to scare me! Piss off!"

The guy pulled out a hand gun and aimed at the debt collector, trying to scare him off, but that didn't work.

"Stop! If you move one more step, I'll shoot you!"

'Tch! Big talk coming from an asshole like you! If you don't want to die today, you better hand over the money! Otherwise, I can't guarantee how brutally I'll beat you!"

The man shook from fear as he tried to steady his shaking hand. Shizuo was in point black shooting distance as he kept on moving closer to the male, not fazed by the weapon one bit. Another step, then another, til finally he was within arm's reach.

Adrenaline pumping throughout his body took over as the guy screamed and pulled the trigger. All that was heard was the thundering waves of the bullet taking its victim.

* * *

"Hmmm…Ok, looks like you're fine."

Taking off the suction cups that were taped on his chest, Izaya redressed as he thanked the doctor.

"Thanks Shinra. I really appreciate you doing this for me."

"Hey, I said I would do whatever it takes to help. It's the least I can do."

"Still, thank you."

Smiling at the brunet, the underground doctor handed him a bag filled with syringes and blue colored liquids in small glass filled bottles. So far nothing drastic had happened to his body so that was a relief. But hiding it was another problem; since he had to inject the daily medication into his body every day and keep it a secret from Shizuo at the same time. Still, the blonde had no idea and gave no sign of suspicion...so far...

"Here's your monthly supply. Remember-"

"-Once a day. I know I know."

"I don't mean to be a pain. I'm just looking out for you."

"I know."

Taking the bag and putting on his jacket, the brunet headed for the front door, but stopped short at the frame just as the door was closing.

"Shinra..."

"Yeah? What is it?"

Turning on his heel, Izaya closed his eyes and smiled as he held his hands behind his back and cocked his head to the side in a cute, innocent like gesture.

"I have another favor to ask.~"

* * *

"Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit!"

Shizuo was impatiently biting his thumb nail as he paced frantically back and forth in front of the operating room. He and Tom had gone out to collect yet another debt from some shady ass person, as usual, and things were difficult, as usual, and the blonde had to scare the crap out of the guy in order to make him pay, as usual! So as you can tell, the day started off fine, until the tables were turned.

One of their clients had refused to pay and just as the monster was about to step in, the guy pulled out a gun and began shooting. Shizuo had successfully dodged the bullets, but one of them had accidentally came into contact with Tom's leg. The guy got away and Shizuo rushed his boss over to the nearby hospital.

Now he was waiting for news about him, tapping his toes as he scowled at the door. A doctor finally exited the O.R. room, removing his bloody latex gloves and throwing them away. Shizuo hurried over to him and started interrogating the man.

"Doctor! How is he?! Is he ok?! Is he alive?! What happened in there?! Will he be able to walk?! When-"

"Whoa whoa calm down there son! Your boss is ok! We successfully removed the bullet from his leg. Lucky it didn't tear up any nerves but his muscles are damaged and his bone was chipped a bit. He won't be able to walk around for about 6 to 8 weeks."

"So, nothing serious?"

"Hahaha, no. He'll be just fine. We're gonna keep him here for the night just in case something comes up. The nurses transferred him to the recovery hall. Why don't you go visit him?"

"I will. Thank you doctor!

Relieved to hear that Tom was fine, the debt collector hurried down the hall and found the room where his boss was staying. Knocking before he entered, Shizuo heard a faint 'come in' as he turned the knob and walked in. Tom was positioned upwards a bit by the back of the bed and smiled when he saw the blonde.

"Shizuo! I was wondering where you ran off to!"

"Tom... Are you ok? Does it hurt?"

"Not as much. It hurt like hell when it hit me, but I'm under a lot of pain killers, so I barely feel it."

"I'm so sorry... This is my fault..."

"No it's not. We never had to deal with something like this before. Don't punish yourself. I'm fine."

"Still..."

"***sigh*... **Well, now that I have to stay off my leg for like two months, I can't work. Which also means that you can't work... Unless you want to work with another debt collector-"

"No. You know I can't work with anyone else but you."

"Yeah that's what I thought... So I guess you're taking a vacation Shizuo!"

"Don't say it like it's a good thing..."

"Yeah sorry... But still, you haven't really had a day off since you began working with me. So you deserve it. Take a break. I need it too."

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

"Ok..."

"***sigh* **damn this sucks..."

"Yeah, it does..."

"Hey!"

"Hmm?"

Smirking at the blonde, Tom held up his fist which in return made Shizuo raise a brow in confusion.

"Go kick that guy's ass for me."

Understanding what his boss meant, Shizuo had an evil grin on his face as he got up and fist bumped his boss before he left.

"Don't have to tell me twice."

* * *

"What is it Izaya?"

"I want you to keep this a secret from Shizuo. If he ever comes around asking about me, lie to him. I don't want his finding out about all this."

"But-but why?!"

"He'll over react and go overboard on everything. What's more, he'll just worry over me and fuss over how I'm doing every minute of the day, and I can't work like that…"

"So this is about work? Come on; if you want me to lie to him at least tell me the real reason!"

"…it's because I don't want to cause him trouble anymore…"

"Trouble?"

"All throughout high school and recent years, I've messed with him, blamed things that I did on him, sent all my troubles his way, just to see his reaction… I don't want to see that anymore… I don't want to see him angry or sad or feel betrayed… If he found out, then it would just kill him inside, I know it will… He had the courage to confess to me and love someone like me, someone who was nothing but a burden to him. But he still learned to love me, even the worst most dark side of me… And I've grown to love him as well…"

"Izaya…"

"So… I have to hide this… So that we can still be happy, even if it's only for a short period of time. I want to see him smile and laugh. I want to make up for all the things I've done. That is why I won't tell him. I don't want to hurt him anymore."

"I see. Ok, you can count on me to keep my lips sealed. But Izaya…you do realize that he will have to know one day…"

"Then when that day comes… I'll be sure to sever all ties with him…"

* * *

***PAT PAT PAT***

"TCH! And to think you got the better of me before!"

Shizuo had left the hospital that afternoon and successfully hunted down his prey in a matter of hours. Beating the shit out of him, one should feel bad for the poor man, buuuut we don't! And so as the blonde patted his hands clean, he left the half broken man in the alley and began walking home. Just as he was about to turn the corner, Izaya appeared, almost walking right into the large male, but spun around him just in time to avoid a collision.

"Izaya?!"

"Ohh Shizu-chan! Wha...what are you doing here? I thought you would be somewhere at west gate Ikebukuro..."

"I was, but Tom got shot during one of the meetings and I ran him to the hospital."

"What?! Is he ok?!"

"Yeah he's fine. He just won't be able to walk for a while. So I'm off until then."

"Ohh I see..."

"So what about you? What are you doing here in Ikebukuro?"

"Hahahaha, the way you say that sounds like the old you, except without the tantrum and the flying vending machines!"

"Haha, yeah I guess."

"Well now that we're here, why don't we have some fun?"

"Umm, sure..."

Taking the blonde's hand into his, the informant led Shizuo along the sidewalk as he tried his best to avoid the topic of his whereabouts in the city.

"So if Shizu-chan doesn't have to work for a while, what is he going to do?"

"I don't know... Nothing I guess; stay home, visit Tom to see how he's doing, you know."

"Ohh..."

_(This isn't good... If he's home all the time, I can't hide the fact that I'm sick... This will be a nuisance. Him being away almost all day was the perfect way for me to hide it. So what do I do now...?)_ Izaya was so focused on trying to think up of a plan to hide his sickness that he wasn't even aware of where his feet were leading him.

"Izaya!"

"Huh?!"

Shizuo grabbed the informant's arm and tugged him back as a truck zoomed by on the street, startling him. The brunet could've sworn he saw his life flash before his eyes as he held on to the blonde's arm with a death grip.

"Watch where you're going! You almost got killed!"

"S-sorry..."

"Hey... Are you ok?"

Placing his forehead against the brunet's, Shizuo felt how his body temperature was skyrocket high and how his breathing was a bit rapid than normal.

"You're burning up!"

"N-no! I'm fine!"

"No you're not! Come on! I'm taking you home."

"Wait! Shizuo!"

The abrupt informant calling his name like that made the blonde stop pulling him and gaze at his flustered face. Izaya never called him by his full name, unless it was something important or if they were in bed. Since they weren't in bed that must mean that something else was up.

"What? What is it?"

"I... I don't want to go home. I wanna hang out with Shizu-chan today since he's off... It's been a while since we spent time together..."

"What are you taking about? We spend time together every day."

"But not like this. Not going out and having fun..."

"Ohh..."

"S-so can we?"

"Mmmm..."

Closing his eyes, the larger male concentrated, trying to find a conclusion to this. _(Izaya has a fever and it's pretty high, but if I take him home he'll be sad and I don't want that... But if I don't take him home, he'll get sicker... What should I do?)_

"Shizu-chan?"

Izaya had an evil side to him, but when he really wanted something, those damn puppy dog eyes and the innocent tone came out to attack. And trust me, those were more vicious than getting slashed by him. Shizuo took a step back, trying to escape the ruse, but it was too late.

"Arg... Alright... We can hang out for a bit! But as soon as you feel worse you have to tell me ok?!"

"Ok ok! I will I promise!"

Smiling at his loving blonde, Izaya grabbed one of his hands again and pulled him down the street. He skipped down the pathway like a little girl on her way to the candy store as he received strange stares from everyone he passed. But what other people thought of him didn't matter; as long as he had Shizuo by his side he knew he was loved by someone. And he wanted to spend all of his time with the blonde as much as he could. Time was slowly ticking away and his life would soon turn for the worse. So no matter what happens til then he promised himself that he wouldn't let it mess his plans up.

"Shizu-chan Shizu-chan!~"

"Hmm?"

"Let's go to that new garden they opened up! That'll be fun right?"

"Yeah sure. I've heard it was a pretty cool place to see."

"Then we'll go?~"

The debt collector tenderly smiled at the eager brunet as he patted the top of his head and ruffled his silk hair.

"Yeah. Let's go."

Izaya's whole face lit up like a Christmas tree as he laughed and hooked his arms around the larger males to make them look like a couple. Which in fact they were, but you can never be too careful, especially in Ikebukuro.

The new Botanical Garden that opened up in the city was another added main attraction for many tourists that came to Japan for vacation. The lines were long and many were excited to see the exotic plants and colorful birds that inhabited the contained green house.

As they slowly inched closer to the doors, the informant tried his best to keep a conversation with Shizuo but away from his fever. Which was hard considering that every five minutes the blonde would ask how he was doing. But when they finally made it inside the beautiful garden, words seemed to have disappeared.

"Woooow... It's so pretty in here!~"

"Yeah, it is."

"Ohh! Let's go this way! There are birds over there!"

Pointing and shouting out like a little kid seeing animals at the zoo, Izaya led Shizuo all around the place as they stopped to admire some scenic mini gardens and read fun facts about some plants.

"Hey Shizu-chan look at this!"

"Hmmm?"

"Aren't these roses beautiful? They look so perfect..."

The debt collector looked from the red flowers to the brunet then back as an idea popped inside his head.

"It says here that Roses are considered the flower of love and that the number of roses you give to someone means something. A single rose of any color depicts utmost devotion, 2 roses entwined together communicate "Marry me", 6 roses signify a need to be loved or cherished, 11 roses assure the recipient they are truly and deeply loved, and 13 roses indicate a secret admirer. I didn't know that! Looks like I learn something new every day huh Shizu-chan?~"

"Huh? Ohh yeah..."

"Were you even listening to me?"

"N-not really..."

"***sigh* **whatever... It wasn't important anyway. Let's keep moving."

Continuing on their mini adventure, the informant began to feel dizzy as the day came to a close and the entire terrain was mostly explored. Sitting down at a small cafe outside the garden, they took a breather as they ordered food and drinks to relax. Shizuo ate his meal in silence, staring off into space and had a thinking look on his face, making Izaya suspicious.

"Shizu-chan?"

The blonde didn't seem to have heard him as the brunet tried again to draw him out of his daydream.

"Shizu-chan! Hello?!"

He attempted to break the ex-bartender's concentration by waving his hand in front of his face, but this also received no signs of acknowledgment. Sighing in defeat, Izaya sat back in his chair as he slipped on his bubble tea and scanned the cafe. His attention was drawn back to the blonde when he abruptly stood up from his chair and began walking away.

"Hey! Where are you going?!"

"Huh?! Ohh I'll be back I-ahh- I have to...go to the restroom!"

"Ehhh...?"

Cocking his head to the side in seer confusion, Izaya shrugged as he stayed where he was at and waited from his blonde to return. But a few short minutes turned into longer minutes as he waited patiently at their table.

Concern started to sink in as Izaya questioned where Shizuo could be. _(Did he leave me here? No, there's no reason for that... Unless he's mad at me or something. But I haven't done anything. So what's taking him so long?!)_ A buzz in his pocket startled Izaya was he jumped a little in his seat. Taking out his cell, he saw that his missing lover had texted him.

**-Hey! Come outside to the front gate! There's something I want to show you!-**

Frowning at the message, he snapped the phone shut as he paid the bill and began walking out.

"Really, he couldn't come back inside and tell me?! What's the big deal anyway? This better be good if he left me for almost 10 minutes by myself!"

The informant was greeted by the chilly Autumn breeze as he pulled his jacket closer to his body. Winter was slowly creeping its way around the corner and soon the entire city would be coated in pure white. But for now, warm colors from the leaves falling indicating the end of another summer.

As Izaya made his way to the front, he noticed how dark it had gotten and walked faster. Being alone in the city was always dangerous, especially for a good looking guy like him. Who knows when a pervert could pop out and attack him.

Approaching the main entrance, he expected to spot the blonde standing there, but no one was in sight. Confused, he turned as he thoroughly searched the area for Shizuo. Irritated, he placed his hands on his hips and tapped his toes. _(What the hell... Where is that protozoan?! He knows that I hate being kept waiting... Dammit...) _

An unidentified figure materialized from the shadows of the building as it crept up to the unguarded brunet. It was right behind the male, appearing to have some sort of weapon in his hand. Just as it looked like it was about to attack, Izaya whirled around, switchblade in his hand and a deadly glem in his eyes; his knife was just millimeters away from his attacker's throat. But as soon as he saw who it was, he lowered his blade and was in pure shook.

"SHIZUO! What the hell do you think you're doing?!"

"ME?! What about you?! You almost took my head off!"

"That's because you snuck up on me and I thought you were some kind of pervert!"

"What?! So I'm a pervert now?!"

"No I didn't say that! I said I thought you were one! How could I have known it was you behind me?!"

"***sigh*... **Just forget it..."

"Why did you call me out here? And why did you disappear? You didn't go to the bathroom, so don't use that excuse."

"Ok I didn't go to the bathroom. I actually went to get something."

"Ehh? And what's that?"

Pulling out what Shizuo hid behind his back, Izaya gasped at the present.

"R-roses?!"

"Yep."

Taking them into his arms, he smiled as he gently touched the silky velvet petals. Waves of happiness melted away all the anger inside him as he smiled and giggled like a school girl.

"They're beautiful. I love them!"

"Count how many there are."

"Count? Ok.. 1, 2 ,3..."

As he slowly counted all the roses, he realized how many there were and gazed over to the devious smirking debt collector.

"They're 11 of them..."

"Which means that you're truly and deeply loved right?"

"But-but I thought you weren't listening to me when I read that!"

"I was just kidding. It was all an act for this."

"Shizu-chan, I never knew you could be such a manipulative person~"

"I learn from the best."

Pulling the brunet closer to him, Shizuo gave Izaya a passionate kiss on his soft lips and slowly pulled away.

"Happy One Year Anniversary Izaya."

"One year... Ehhh?! It's been a year?! Today is the one year anniversary?! A-are you sure?!"

"Huh? Of course I am! Why?"

"It's just that... I can't believe that I didn't remember... Something so important and I completely forgot... I'm horrible..."

"No you're not. That's why there's two of us, so at least one of us can remember! Don't worry about it."

"I... Still... It makes it seem like I don't love you enough... I really am horrible..."

"Enough enough! No more sulking! As long as you're by my side, I know that you care. So no worries ok?"

"Mmmm..."

"I-za-yaaaa..."

"Ok ok! I won't sulk!"

"Good! So do you like the flowers?"

"Of course! They're wonderful! I bet they smell amazing too!"

Bring up the bouquet to his face, Izaya took a whiff of the scented flowers, but something was wrong. He took another whiff. Still nothing. _(No... No this can't be...)_

"Izaya?"

(_How... Why? Why now? On this day?! Why?! No! No no no no no!)_

"Izaya!"

"Huh?! Wha..."

The blonde was gripping onto his lover's arms, shaking him out of his thoughts. Concern was written all over his face as he place a warm hand over one side on the brunet's cheeks.

"Why are you crying?"

"Cr-crying?"

Raising a hand up to his face, Izaya felt his cheeks were wet from tears that were still flowing from his eyes.

"I..."

"Are you ok? Is something wrong?"

He roughly brushed away the tears on his face with his sleeves as he tried to put on a poker face and a fake smile.

"Nnn. No I'm fine I'm just..."

He gazed down at the beautiful roses in his arms and could felt another wave of liquids from his eyes pour out.

"I'm just so happy that's all. They're tears of happiness. Don't worry... I'm really happy Shizu-chan..."

"So you cry when you're happy too huh? Silly flea."

"Hahaha, yeah. Silly me."

"Come on. Let's go home. You seem really tired."

"Yeah... Let's go."

* * *

Taking the train back to Shinjuku, they returned to their love nest late that night. Shizuo carried the light weight male home and placed him gently on the bed. Trying his best not to wake the tired male, he changed Izaya into his sleeping attire and tucked him in.

After he was also done getting ready for bed, the blonde climbed in with the informant and pulled his body against his. Nestled in the blonde's chest, Izaya snuggled as he found a comfortable position for his head against the solid body. Smiling, Shizuo placed his chin on top of the raven hair and began to drift off into a slumber.

"Neh Shizu-chan...?"

"Hmm? What is it?"

"What do I smell like?"

"Ehh?! What kind of question is that?"

"I was just wondering. Since you use your nose to find me, I wondered what I smelled like. Everyone has their own personal scent ya know."

"Hmm, what do you smell like... Ahhhh, it's hard to describe..."

"Must be a strong scent since you can find me so easily in Ikebukuro."

"No, that's not true."

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"Your smell is subtle; it's only easy to find you because the city reeks of pollution and all. Your smell, it's distinct. If I had to compare it to something...I guess I would say you smell like apples."

"Apples?"

"Yeah. The fresh kind that's sweet tasting and stuff. Yeah, definitely apples."

"Hmm, apples. Hahaha Shizu-chan is strange.~"

"Hey you're the one who asked the question!"

"I know I know. Now, if I had to describe your scent, well cigarettes are involved of course. But when I'm close to you like this, I can't smell a hint of them. I smell something sweet, like candy or something, but not as strong, almost faint. And I also smell fresh air, whatever that would smell like, but I think that if I ever were to breathe fresh air, it would smell just like you. It's relaxes me..."

"My scent does that?"

"Mmm~ it does..."

"Well I'm glad. It's late and you need your rest, so no more talking flea."

"Ok."

"Night Izaya. I love you."

"Mmmm, love you too~."

Though his voice sounded steady, inside, Izaya was fighting so hard to kept the pain from overwhelming his body. Usually the scent from the blonde would soothe his tired body and troubled mind. But now... Now that he'd lost his sense of smell, there was nothing that comforted him anymore.

As he gripped onto Shizuo's shirt, he forced his eyes closed, hoping to find peace in his dreams. But deep down he knew that this was just the beginning of a spiraling nightmare just waiting to come true.

* * *

**A/N:**

**Wanna be friends of facebook XD here's my alias name, Lulu Sama (Shizaya)! Love to be friends with ya! You'll know if you found me or not lol  
**

**DUN DUN DUUUUUN! Ahhh ohhhhh! What will happen now?! IDK! You'll just have to wait and find out! See ya! Remember to REVIEW ReViEw review! Cause they are lovely for me to read X) One more thing! Me and a friend are having a bit of a debate, so help me out! The question is, "Is happiness created of bought?" What do you think?! I think it's created but let me know what you believe and we can settle this in a calm fashion...maybe... See ya soons~ XP  
**


	3. Give Your Heart A Break

Chapter 3 – Give Your Heart a Break

**BYR:**

**I'm gonna give you guys a break from crying lol and I'm in a good mood today too Have fun reading!~**

"But that's-that's a-it's a-a…!"

Let's start from the beginning shall we?

* * *

**{12 Hours Ago...}**

Izaya was laying on the couch in front of the tv, eating a bowl full, well now half full, of dry Cookie Crisps cereal. He wasn't entirely sure what he was watching, some sort of history channel documenting some war. The informant was just lying around lazy, propping his head up with one arm and eating with the other. It was a beautiful sunny day outside as he shut himself from the busy world.

"Oi flea."

Turning his head 90 degrees, the brunet faced the blonde, a piece of cereal in his mouth.

"Hmm?"

"What are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?"

"Nothing, and that's the problem."

"Ha? How?"

"You never do nothing. You're always doing SOMETHING!"

"I'm lazy today, so sue me."

"Tch, whatever!"

Shizuo wasn't sure why, but witnessing the informant not doing anything irritated him. He was so used to seeing Izaya move around and on his computer, typing or surfing the web. Now he was just lying there, eating! Something he hated doing! Something was definitely wrong...

"Hey!"

"What now?"

"Are you ok?"

_(Shit shit shit! Does he suspect something?! Maybe he knows?! No, that can't be it. He's just worried that I'm not doing anything! Just play it cool.)_ He masked on his best innocent smile as possible as he answered the debt collector.

"No, why do you ask?~"

"You're actin' weird. It's not like you to sit and eat. I mean, I'm glad to see that you're eating, but it's just not...you."

"Not me?"

"Look...ever since our last date, you've been, I don't know, distant..."

A silence fell upon the room at the two males stayed where they were, neither giving signs of moving anytime soon. The quietness was suddenly broken when Izaya tried to stifle a laugh, but broke.

"Pfft... Hahahahahahahaha!"

"Izaya?"

"Hahahahaha! You-why-Hahahaha! How do you-"

He was gasping for air, spitting out any words he could in between laughs as he held his sides trying to suppress the pain. The brunet had fallen on the floor and was literally rolling around laughing as he kicked his legs all around in the air. Shizuo stood where he was, mesmerized by the scene he was witnessing.

"I-Izaya?"

"Haha-I-c-can't-br-breathahahahaha!"

"Hey! Get a hold of yourself! What did I say?"

The blonde kneeled down on the floor next to the hysterical flea, trying to calm him down from his exploding laugh attack. Grabbing him by the hands, he pulled the male up into sitting position and held onto his arms.

"Shi-"

"Enough already! You'll die laughing if you continue!"

"Pfft…ok…I'm. done… haaa….wow that felt good!"

"Good? You look like you were about to die! How is that good?!"

"I needed a laugh Shizu-chan~ Thank you for that~"

"Why were you laughing anyway? Did I say something?"

"Mhm~"

"What was it….?"

"You said I was acting weird and had grown distant. I just couldn't help but think about the past when that would've been a blessing for you. Now it's kinda ironic doncha think hahaha!"

"Yeah I guess…"

"Silly Shizu-chan~ Always worrying over the little things."

"It's not my fault. You're the one acting weird."

"It's natural for people to take a break every now and then. I am only human."

"Yeah yeah. Anyway, wanna go out?"

"Hmm? And do what?"

"Ehh, nothing in particular."

"Then no."

"What?"

"I don't feel like moving today. I just wanna relax. This might be the last time since I have a huge amount of work coming my way soon. So I wanna take advantage of the calm before the storm."

"Ahh, ok. I'm going out then. Tom needs to see the doc today, first week check-up and stuff."

"Alrighty. You two have fun then~ Get me some sushi while you're out!"

"Yeah."

"Thaaaank Yooou~"

Skipping back to the couch, the light weight male pounced on the mass of pillows and buried himself in them as he searched for the remote. Finding it, he started flipping through the channels, pausing for a second when he heard the front door close.

"Gone! Finally!"

Rushing into the bathroom, he made his way into the walk- in closet and went through one of his draws. Finding his medicine underneath all the pile of shirts, he pulled a new syringe out and stuck the blue liquid containing flask at the end and pressed the needle into his blood stream. It felt as if his body turned into a feather as the cool liquid traveled its way all over his vessels.

"God that feels good…."

Pulling the needle out, he disposed of the shot and re-hid his medical kit in his drawer again. Emerging from the bathroom, he grabbed his fur trim jacket and placed it on, walking around the large condo. Winter was creeping up and snow would soon be seen in the air as he cranked up the heat inside the house. Going into his office, Izaya started up his computer and decided to actually do some work today rather than do nothing. He was a workaholic after all and the thought of doing nothing seemed too boring.

"Time to have some fun~"

* * *

On the bus to the hospital, Tom and Shizuo were chatting about how the other had been since they last say each other.

"So, you and Orihara still together?"

"Miraculously, yeah… It's weird…"

"I bet. But hey, you've been a lot calmer since then, so I totally support you."

"Thanks Tom. I guess this is really for the best. I mean, when I thought he died… I don't know. I just felt like the world ended. In truth, I rather die than live without him. He really has gotten attached to me, like the flea he is."

"Hahaha, I really can't tell if that's good or bad. But as long as he treats you right, I'm happy for ya."

The bus rolled to a stop as the two males got out and walked across the street to the hospital. Walking through the clear automatic sliding doors, the front desk worker guided them to the waiting room as they took a seat.

"So…have you…you know…done it?"

"Tom…"

"What?! I'm curious! Sorry sorry!"

"***sigh* **yeah we've done it…"

"Score! Is it weird?"

"Honestly, I don't know. I've never been with a girl, so I can't compare."

"What about Izaya?"

Izaya… He was used as a sort of sex slave in his early life by his father to help him bribe his debtors to pay up. He'd experienced sexual activity at such a young age that he was terrified of it for so long. The time they actually did it for the first time was hesitant; the blonde didn't want to traumatize the brunet since he knew. But after that, things went smoothly between the two of them.

"No… he was my first."

"Ahh…that's nice, having your first with the person you truly love."

"Yeah, I guess…."

A nurse came walking up to them and showed them to the examination room where Tom's doctor was waiting. After the physical checkup and more x-rays were ordered, he concluded that Tom was recovering at a steady pace.

"It'll take at least 3 or so weeks for it to full recover. So keep of it as usual and I'll see you in 3 weeks!"

"Thanks doc."

Exiting the medical building, they walked down the street and waited for another bus to come pick them up. An idea then popped into the debt collectors head.

"Hey."

"Hmm?"

"What would you say if I got a car?"

"I would ask what kind?"

"A real nice one, maybe a sports car."

"Why?"

"Donna, just think I should get one. It'll be fun. And Izaya was looking at this car the other day on the internet so-"

"Ohh so this is about Izaya huh?"

"Well yeah, but it's for me too."

"So a car huh? Well then, let's go car shopping?"

"Huh?"

"Come on. I know a thing or two about cars. Let's go."

"Seriously?"

* * *

Back home, Izaya was staring at his screen, typing away on his online chat room with his 'friends'.

Kanra: "Hey guys!"

Setton: "Hey there."

Tanaka: "What's up?"

Kanra: "What are you lovely peep up to these days?"

Setton: "Ahh u know, same old."

Tanaka: "Same here, nothing much."

Kanra: "What?! How boring! Well some gossip I've heard was that the Dollars are starting to stir something up again."

Setton: "Again? I thought they dissolved?"

Kanra: "Same here! But apparently they just went quiet for a while. Hope things don't go too crazy in 'Bukuro again!"

Tanaka: "Where did you hear this at?"

Kanra: "A magician never reveals his secret my friend!~"

Setton: "Well they better not do anything to start another gang war. I've had enough of all that."

Tanaka: "I'm pretty sure they wouldn't. Moving on, have you guys heard about Orihara and Heiwajima?!"

Izaya froze his fingers from typing as he read the replied popping up on the screen.

Setton: "No not really, what's going on? They destroying the city again?"

Tanaka: "No the total opposite! I heard that they're together! Someone saw them going into that new garden in the city together and were like on a date!"

Setton: "Aww, that's sweet. As long as they're not fighting, I don't care what they do. But that's totally unexpected!"

Tanaka: "Yeah I know! What do you think Kanra?"

He just sat there, fingers hovering over his keys as he processed what he just read. Sure, he was expecting rumors of him and Shizuo to spread around, but somehow he pictured it more…chaotic. To see that people are shocked, but support their relationship, it made him feel relieved.

Takana: "Kanra?"

Kanra: "Ohh yeah. It's cool. Totally a score for the two of them. Hey I gotta go. Talk to you guys later!"

Setton: "Alright. Bye for now!

Tanaka: "Bye"

***Kanra logged out***

Shutting off his computer, he leaned back in his leather chair and thought for a minute. It's been a whole year since that day, but it felt so long ago to him. To see that people are now just noticing them being together made him feel conflicted. He liked that fact that no one was bothering them with their relationship, but he also hated how his humans were so oblivious to him.

"This is a pain…"

Not wanting to think anymore, the informant spun his chair around in circles a couple of times and let it slowly stop on its own, facing out the window. The sky was dull and gray as he closed his eyes for a little rest. It was hard for him to sleep at night, the nightmares re-occurring every single time he closed his eyes to sleep. He'd only woken up the blonde once, the first night it happened. Of course, Shizuo was freaking out even though he told him it was only a bad dream. That night he literally hugged the brunet to sleep, which helped a little. But after that, he was used to it. He knew when it would happen, when he would wake up, and when he would fall asleep again. It was almost like a tedious routine. And he hated it.

"Dammit…I need sleeping pills or something…maybe I'll ask Shinra for them next time I see him."

* * *

"This one?"

"Yeah!"

"You sure…?"

"Yeah, why not?"

Tom looked at the price written on the front windshield and cringed.

"Dude…it's really pricey…."

"I got the money for it."

"WHAT?! How?!"

"Saving up and every year Kasuka always send me money so I have enough now."

"Damn, lucky. So you really are getting THIS one? This is the one Izaya was looking at online?!"

"Yep."

"Shit…He's trying to kill you or something…"

"What can I say; the man gots style."

"Alright. Let's go inform the dealer then."

"Cool."

"Izaya is one spoiled brat…."

"Yeah, I know hahahaha!"

* * *

A loud knock on the front door echoed in the quiet condo as Izaya rubbed his eyes and got out of his warm chair. Shuffling to the door, he unlocked it, only to reveal no one there. Peeking out the door frame, he looked left and right down the hall, seeing no signs of life around.

"Hello?"

His voice echoed down the halls as he shrugged and was about to close the door, when a folded piece of paper on the floor near his feet caught his sight. Picking it up, he unwrapped the message, only to shriek and let it float back to its original place. Stumbling backwards, the brunet slipped and fell to the ground, his eyes still on the message glaring at him.

**YOU'RE GOING TO DIE**

The eerie black scribbled letters reminded him of the Slasher's handwriting as he quickly snatched the note and slammed the door shut, using all the locks. Rushing back into his office, he read the short note over and over, making sure he wasn't missing anything. But it was clear as day.

"What the hell?! Is he back?! There's no way…no way…. Shit shit shit! I have too many problems then to deal with this psychopath again!"

Stuffing the sheet of paper in his filing cabinet, he locked it and hid the key as he went back to his spinning chair to rest.

"Why is this happening to me…."

* * *

Shizuo walked up the stairs as he came to a stop in front of his new home. After dropping off Tom, he drove straight home in his new car, excited to show the brunet the gift he got. Pulling out his keys, he placed them into the locked, turned it, and pushed the door open, but it didn't budge.

"What the-did he lock the top too? He never does that."

Irritated over the new procedure, he placed in the other key and then entered the house. The place was quiet as he took off his shoes and stuffed the keys inside his back pocket. Roaming around, he couldn't find Izaya anywhere.

"Flea! You home?"

Walking into the office, he sighed heavily as he walked over to where the informant was. Curled up in his chair, the smaller male was sleeping soundly, his chest moving up and down to match his breathing. Now that he had a closer look, the blonde noticed how Izaya was starting to form dark circles under his eyes. Almost every night he'd noticed the brunet waking up, startled by something before laying down and going back to sleep. He didn't ask why since the first night Izaya had told him it was only a bad dream. So he just let it go, not wanting to pester the male. Lightly shaking his shoulders, the debt collector called out to his flea.

"Oi…Izaya…"

"Mmmm…"

"If you sleep like this you'll catch a cold."

"Sorry…"

"Wanna go out to eat?"

"You forgot didn't you; my sushi…"

"Yeah, well not really. I just wanted to go out."

"***yawn~*** ok… let me get my jacket."

Stretching from his chair, the light weight male hopped up and went into the living room. Putting on his jacket, he followed the blonde out the door, down the stairs, and out the front lobby. Taking a left, Izaya was heading to the train station that took them to Ikebukuro, when he noticed Shizuo turning right and walking the wrong way.

"Umm Shizu-chan. The train is that way."

"I know."

Confused, Izaya followed the blonde down the block before he stopped abruptly in the middle of the sidewalk.

"Umm…Shizu-chan…"

"Just watch."

Pulling out keys, he pressed the unlock button of the car, revealing the brand new car that lit up in the dark streets. The informant felt as if he had a heart attack as his mouth gaped open in awe and shock.

"But that's-that's a-it's a-a…"

"A 2013 Porsche 918 Spyder."

"How…where did this come from?!"

"I bought it."

"You-!"

He averted his look over to the smirking male, completely not sure what was even going on anymore.

"You BOUGHT this… You bought THIS?!"

"Yep."

"How can you be so nonchalant about it?! Do you know how much this costs?!"

"Well yeah, I paid for it."

"You! How?!"

"Just shut up and get in the car."

Opening the passage side, he guided the brunet into the car and shut the doors. Getting in on the other side, he placed the keys into the ignition and the car roared to life.

"I can't believe this… There's no way you bought this car…"

"I saved up enough money to put a loan on a house, I think I can buy a car."

"But why?!"

"I saw you looking at it, so I figured I'd get one. Besides, riding on the train sucks."

"Shizu-chan…you're such an idiot…."

"Yeah yeah love you too. So, where to?"

The smirk on Shizuo's face made Izaya want to punch him. He was being really spoiled by this monster, and though he enjoyed it, he didn't want to use him. "Russia Sushi. And I'm paying! No exceptions!"

"Fine with me."

Putting the sports car into drive, they traveled down the road and onto the highway heading to the city. Izaya couldn't help but be excited riding around in the coolest car in the world. To think that he would actually get to see one in real life, let alone drive in one and own one.

"You spoil me too much."

"I know. I want to though."

"I can't believe I'm riding in a Porsche 918 Spyder… this is too cool!"

"I knew you would say that."

**A/N: **

**This is by far a very nice car… I want it… Anyway, hoped you liked this chapter! Not much sadness going on, but some drama was sprinkled in here ;) who is that note from and what does it mean?! Find out next time on 'Losing Your Sense of Love'! wow that sounded like an end of a show type dialog… lol XD REVIEW TOO!**


	4. Lack of Taste

Chapter 4 - Lack of Taste

**BYR: Here it finally is!**

"Oi Izaya! Wake up!"

"Mmm..."

The sound of the blonde's voice seemed distant as the informant rubbed his tired eyes and pushed himself up from the warmth of his mattress. The smell of cinnamon was in the air, but he didn't notice the sweet scent floating around the condo at all. Staggering into the bathroom, he locked the door behind him before he started his daily morning routine.

Taking the blue medical kit he moved under the sink, he grabbed a syringe and a small blue vile, connected them, and positioned the needle on his wrist. Taking a deep breath, he steadily let it out as he slowly sunk the needle into his skin and pierced the vein. Pushing the blue liquid into his blood stream, he could feel his body thanking him for relieving the pain as he pulled the injection out. Cleaning up, he hid his medicine out of sight, brushed his teeth, and emerged from his bathroom.

The brunet skipped into the kitchen, going up to Shizuo and hugged him from behind as he tried to take in his loving-scent. But like every morning, he couldn't smell anything whatsoever.

"Whatcha cooking?~"

"French toast, want some?"

"Only if you'll feed me.~"

"Hahaha, fine."

Flipping the last of the French toast into the plate, and debt collector walked over to the table, Izaya still having his arms wrapped around his waist and was waddling behind him like a duckling.

"Sit down flea so we can eat."

"Neh lets sit on the couch and watch some tv~"

"***sigh* **I spoil you too much."

"Yeah... It's nice~"

He released his hold on Shizuo and pranced over to the couch, flipping the television on and going to the news. It was 9 o'clock on a Friday morning as Izaya stretched his body out on the plush couch like a cat. Shizuo walked over to the flea and set the plate down before pulling him up right by his arms.

"Up n adam!"

"Fooood~ Ahhhhh~"

"Spoiled brat."

"That's why you love me~"

"Just shut up and eat."

Stabbing the fluffy toast with a fork, the blonde took a bite before handing half of it to the informant. Instead of taking the utensil like he should've, Izaya took a bite out of the French toast and smiled as he chewed.

"You really gonna make me feed you?"

"Yes! Please and thank you~"

"***sigh* **fine..."

And so they exchanged food back and forth for the rest of the morning until around 11 when the debt collector had to leave.

"Going to visit Tom?"

"Yeah, it's been two month since his accident and he has an appointment to see the doc today, so I'm taking him."

"Okays~ drive safe! Don't wreak my car!"

"Tch! I drive better than you flea!"

"Sure sure, but you know you and your road rage."

"Shuddup."

"Hahahaha kidding kidding~ Hey! Gimme a kiss before you leave!"

Giving the brunet a swift kiss, the blonde grabbed the keys on the counter and rushed out the door. Left alone in his condo, the smaller male went into his office and began working on some paperwork. Namie was fired a while back when he felt uncomfortable having her poking around in his personal life, so now he was left to do all the work on his own. Which wasn't bad since that's how he'd started off in the first place.

"Let's see... Shiki said he wanted to meet tomorrow to discuss some things... And dear Kida said he wanted to see me... And then there's messing with the discarded Blue Squares~ so much fun~ even if Shizu-chan doesn't chase me around anymore, there's still an endless sea of humans to play with~!"

Going on his usually chat room, he felt a little disappointed when he saw that no one was logged on. Switching to another screen, a small message box popped up from the bottom corner of his screen, indicating he had a message from his email. Clicking on it, he revealed the letter sent from an anonymous sender.

_-Orihara, Izaya-_

_I want you to know that Shizuo will die soon. Please know that this is not a death threat, but a warning of what little time you have left with him. I just thought I'd let you know. I'm sorry it has to end like this. There's nothing you can do to stop this. In truth, if it weren't for you, he wouldn't die. But because you are a part of him, he will. Because he loves you._

_-Anonymous-_

Izaya read and re-read the email over a hundred times, but not matter how many times his eyes went over those words, they didn't change. The informant began to feel panic pulse through his body as he gripped onto his laptop screen for suppose.

"What the hell...what's going on?!"

Trying to trace back the sender, he ended up with no leads as his computer hacking skills were rendered useless. He'd received many unidentified emails and letters before from multiple people in the past, so this wasn't anything new. But never had they mentioned the blonde's name before or that he'd be the one dying. Something about this message made Izaya uncomfortable all over as he saved the email in a special folder and shut his computer down.

"No need to worry, probably just another prank. Just calm down Izaya."

Deciding that he needed some fresh air, the brunet changed into his usual attire and headed out the door. His cellphone read 12:15 as he made his way down the busy streets. It was about the time for lunch time rush, perfect timing for him to blend into his sea of humans. Being around people always made him feel safe when he felt in danger; maybe because he knew that it would be harder for him to get singled out if he had witnesses around. Whatever the reason, he knew he could just take a normal walk without worry.

"Izaya?"

"Hmm? Ohh Dotachin! Nice to see you!~"

"Yeah you too. What's up?"

"Ohh you know, the usual~"

"Causing trouble again?"

"Only to those who deserve it~"

"***sigh* **why do I even ask… so how are you and Shizuo?"

"Well…"

The blonde's name being brought up made his mind flash back to the email, the sickness, his depleting time, and saddened him again. Kyohei say he had struck a nerve and began apologizing.

"Hey sorry! I didn't mean to-"

"No, it's ok. I should talk to someone about this…"

"What's going on?"

"I… I'm sick Dotachin…"

"Sick? Like a flu?"

"Hee, I wish it was that simple… No I… I'm losing my senses…"

"Senses? Like, hearing and stuff?"

"Yeah…."

"Are you serious?!"

"I can't smell anything anymore… It's just, gone. Without warning."

"Have you seen Shinra-"

"Yeah I have. He said there isn't anything he could do. I have about half a year, at most, til I'm extracted from all my senses…"

"And Shizuo-"

"Doesn't know."

"What?!"

"I haven't told him yet…"

"Why?!"

"I don't want him to worry. Dotachin…"

The informant grabbed onto both sides of his friends arm and looked in dead in the eyes; Kyohei saw how serious he was.

"Please, don't tell Shizu-chan. It'll only make things worse."

"…I don't like the idea of you keeping this a secret from him, but I guess I have no choice since you asked…"

"Thanks."

"But you need to tell him Izaya. Sooner or later, he'll get suspicious and come looking for answers."

"Well when the time comes, I'll deal with it. I better go. Thanks for hearing me out."

Izaya began to walk away from the former gang member, feeling some weight on his shoulders being lifted away.

"Is there anything else?"

The question startled the info-broker, making him stop and turn back to Kyohei.

"Wh-what makes you think there's anything else?"

Izaya's voice wasn't confident like he'd wanted it to be, so he knew his friend saw through his lie. But instead of pushing it further, he just said-

"If there's ever ANYTHING you need to talk about, I'm here to listen; you know that right?"

"…Yeah. Thanks again."

The brunet went on his way again, thankful to escape from his interrogator. _(I swear, if he worked with the police, I'm sure the crime rates around here would drop significantly! Hahaha, but that's not his style.)_ The informant suddenly felt his phone vibrate in his pocket and pulled it out. Seeing that his beloved monster was calling him, he joyfully answered the call.

"He-llo~?"

"Flea?"

His little nickname made him looked up from his cellphone; the blonde sounded closer to him than he thought possible. Seeing Shizuo standing in front of him was an odd surprise and an unconscious smile crept up his face.

"Shizu-chan! What a lovely surprise!"

"What are you doing?"

"Going for a little stroll~ Where's Tom?"

"Went back home. He's fully recovered now so I'll be going back to work soon."

"That's good news!"

"I was gonna call you to tell ya to get ready to go out, but I guess there's no need."

"Go out? Where are we going?"

"I'm hungry, so let's go grab some lunch."

"Sushi?!~"

"Fine…"

Izaya wrapped his arms around the blonde's and lead him down the street to his favorite restaurant in the city. It had been a while since he ate his loveable dish, and like a child he was excited to go and eat his desired meal.

The walk to Russia Sushi was oddly quiet, Shizuo not saying a word, just smoking his cigarette and keeping the smaller male close to his side.

"Neh Shizu-chan, you ok?"

"Fine. Just…"

Something was clearly on the debt collector's mind, but before Izaya could ask, Simon budded in and started speaking his broken Japanese, bribing them to eat his sushi.

"Hahaha, ok, table for two please~"

Lead to the back of the room, the two males took their seats and ordered. Waiting around for their meal to come dragged on as the clock slowly ticked by. For some reason, the tension in the air thickened and made the brunet rather uncomfortable.

"Ummm…"

"What?"

"Nothing…"

_(Did I do something wrong again? Is he mad? He usually doesn't talk when he's mad so that must be the case…)_

"I'm not mad if that's what you're wondering."

Izaya's whole body stiffened at the thought of Shizuo actually knowing what was going on in his head. _(Great, he can read my thoughts now!)_

"Listen… I-"

"Sushi! You eat, it good!"

Once again, the tall dark-skinned male came by at the wrong time, and the ex-bartender dropped the subject at hand.

"Just tell me later, it can wait right?"

"I guess…"

Putting on his best smile, the informant gazed hungrily at his fatty tuna, his stomach growling and begging to be fed as he picked up a piece with his chopsticks. Bring up the sushi piece to his lips, he enclosed the raw fish into his mouth and started chewing happily away. But something wasn't quite right.

"How is it?"

"Ehh, fine…"

"Happy now flea?"

"Mmm…thank you…."

Taking another piece, he ate his order rather slowly before pushing the rest of it away. Shizuo never saw the brunet turn down sushi before, so the sight of him not finishing was a shock.

"Are you sick?"

"Wh-what?! What makes you think I'm sick?! I'm not sick! Who said I was sick?!"

"It's just that you never turn down fatty tuna before, so I thought maybe you were too sick to eat or something."

"No.. I'm just full that's all…"

"Okay then, ready to leave?"

"Sure."

Shizuo paid the bill and thanked the Russian man as the two left the restaurant and headed home. The whole trip was quiet and edginess was sensed between the brunet and blonde. It wasn't until they walked into their little love nest did the debt collector finally say something.

"Izaya…"

"Y-yes?"

He seemed to be a bit hesitant to speak his mind, searching for the right words as the informant stood there a few feet away from him. Rubbing his hand up and down, the smaller male tried to prepare himself for the worse. Shizuo had never acted this way to him before, so it was unnerving to see him so doubtful and cautious.

"Look…umm…"

"Just say it already! You're driving me insane here!"

"Driving…yeah, about that…"

"Huh?"

Shizuo smiled one of his awkward smiles, rubbing the back of his head and chuckling a bit.

"I kinda, sorta, maybe….wreaked the car…"

Silence soon followed after that sentence, Izaya blinking in confusion.

"You wreaked the car…"

"Yeah…"

"…Are you serious…."

"Unfortunately."

"Pfft…fffhahahahahahahaha!"

Doubling over and hugging himself, the brunet began to laugh hysterically as he fell to his knees. Confused and a bit relieved that he didn't get yelled at by Izaya, Shizuo got closer to his mate and patted his head.

"I'm sorry…"

"Hahaha! It's fine! I thought that maybe you were going to break up with me or something! To think you were worked up over a car! You really are something Shizu-chan."

"Well, it's not totally wreaked. We can pay for repairs so-"

"Don't worry about it. It's not important. Besides, as long as no one got hurt."

"Yeah…sure….we'll go with that…"

"Shizu-chaaaannn…"

"Ohh look at the time, you better take a bath and go to sleep!"

"It's 6 pm!"

"Exactly. Now off you go~"

"I don't get you…."

Reluctantly, the brunet just shrugged it off and skipped into the bathroom to take a bath. After he closed the door behind him, Izaya quickly went underneath his sink and grabbed his medicine bag. As he was about to give himself another dosage of the blue liquid, a knock on the door startled him and made the smaller male drop the vile.

"Izaya? Are you ok?"

"Y-yeah! I'm fine!"

He dove to the floor to collect the fragmented glass and wipe away the evidence.

"I heard something sound like it broke. Are you hurt?"

"I said I'm _fine!_"

"I'm coming in."

"NO!"

Quickly scrambling to the door, Izaya made it there in time to push it closed with his back against it.

"Izaya!"

"Don't come in!"

"Why?! Is something wrong?"

"I…I'm naked!"

"Huh?"

"It's embarrassing Shizu-chan… Try to look at it from my perspective!"

It was a good lie, even though he was fully clothed and nowhere near embarrassed. _(Please fall for it! Pleasepleasepleaseplease!)_

"O…kaaay… I'll just leave your clothes at the door then…"

"Yeah! You do that!"

Pressing his ear on the door, the informant listened carefully for the blonde's footsteps to fade away before he cracked open the entrance and snatched his clothes. Sighing in relief, Izaya then began to strip and turned the shower on. As he waited for the water to get warm, the brunet made sure he locked the door this time before attempting to inject himself once more.

After all the tedious work was done, he emerged from the bathroom, drying his hair with a small towel and fell face first on the bed.

"Mehhh~ Shizu-chan…"

"What?"

"Can you turn up the heat? It's cold."

"Fine."

As Shizuo got off the bed and left the bedroom, the other male looked over at the clock and saw how time had flown by for the day. It was already 8:30 and the winter skies outside only made it seem later. The blonde returned to the room, closing the door behind him and took off his shirt.

"Noooo! Not tonight! I'm not in the mood!"

"Huh? For god's sakes Izaya, I ain't gonna attack you."

"Then why are you taking off your shirt?"

"Cause it's hot."

"You're just weird. It's freezing in here!"

"You're just too skinny, no fat to help you stay warm."

"I don't want to be fat!"

"But you need at least something on those bones. I'm always afraid that I'm going to break you."

"Hahaha! I'm stronger than you think."

"Yeah yeah."

Yawning, the debt collector climbed into bed and pulled the warm sheets up to his neck. Lying down beside him, propped up on one elbow, Izaya smiled and poked his mate's face.

"Go to sleep flea."

"It's not even 9 yet. Talk to me. We never have any pillow talk before bed."

"Yes we do."

"Not as much anymore."

"Ok then, what do you want to talk about?"

"Anything~"

Shizuo let out a sigh of exhaustion before he forcefully pulled the informant into his arms. Nestling his head against the warm chest, Izaya soon felt weary as the soothing beat of the blonde's heart rocked him to sleep.

"Neh, Shizu-chan."

"Hmm?"

"What's your favorite food?"

"Favorite food? Why? Is this one of those pillow talks?"

"Yes~"

"Hmm…favorite food…pudding? Maybe milk…wait that's a drink…pudding, definitely pudding."

"Hahaha, you and your sweet tooth."

"Well I can't exactly eat you right?"

"W-what?!"

Izaya could feel his face turn bright red from that comment and he hid himself by pulling the sheets over his head.

"I hate you…"

"I know."

The blonde gave the covered head a kiss and laughed softly as the brunet emerged from his hiding spot.

"What about you?"

"That's easy! Sushi!"

"I figured."

"Hey…what if one day… you couldn't taste the foods you were eating anymore…what would you do Shizu-chan?"

"That's a weird question. Well…I don't know honestly. I guess it would be hard to enjoy eating… But that's impossible right?"

"…Yeah."

"Alright enough talk, sleep."

"Bleeehh~ No fun~"

Though he protested, the info-broken was out like a light in the short seconds. Shizuo stayed awake a bit longer, softly stroking the raven's head and playing with his hair. As he looked closer and Izaya, he notice how skinny he looked, skinnier than before. _(He eats his meals with me in the morning and night, so I know he's not starving himself. So why is he losing weight? Maybe I should talk to Shinra about this. He seems so weak and fragile…)_

The thought of him killing Izaya one day scared the shit out of the blonde and he didn't want that to happen. But with his monstrous strength, a simple hug could lead to death. Was it safe for Izaya to be around him, especially in the state that he's in now?

"***sigh*** You really do cause a lot of trouble for others you know."

Gently pulling the sleeping male closer to him, Shizuo closed his eyes and tried to sleep. But images of the informant dying kept reappearing in his nightmares, and he was left with the painful theory that he was the one who was killing Izaya.

* * *

**A/N:**

**Any Kuroko no basket fans out there? Cause i started on one and it's a Kise x Kasamatsu pairing b/c i love them to death! If you have time, read it maybe? An review too? i wanna know how im doing with that since it's my first KnB fanfic and all. THX~  
**

**Sorry for the LOONNGG update. Started classes again and finally had some time to type this. I was in a hurry so sorry for any spelling mistakes and whatnots. REVIEWS are welcomed though **** Thx~**


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